Less than 24 hours from now I will be saying sayonara to my TWENTIES and HELLO to my THIRTIES (ekkk weird)!! I have been reflecting on all the things I have experienced over this past decade and I am absolutely proud and grateful for this life I get to live. It’s very rare for me to be fully satisfied with everything but looking back right now I wouldn’t have lived my twenties any other way!
I feel your twenties are one of the most important decades of your life! This is where you grow into adulthood, figure life out on your own, make some of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make, experience the world for the first time, learn things you enjoy, have a career and SO much more!
I have to give a shout out to my Husband Ron for making it through my entire twenties together! If we can make it through this decade together, forever will be a breeze (I think 😉 Sorry, not sorry babe, hahah!
I don’t have any regrets of the way I chose to live my life, however, if I could only go back and tell myself what I know now, I would to speed up the process to enjoy and embrace life much more confident, self-loving and unapologetic! Which is why I am writing 20 things I would tell my 20-year-old self in hopes to inspire you to cut the bull crap and start living a life to your fullest potential from the get go.
I don’t have life all figured out, I never will, there will always be new phases of life, goals, dreams, ups, downs but this past decade I have learned a lot about myself, to be comfortable with who I am as a woman and I want to share my experiences what I feel are the most important things I have learned along the way in hopes you can start implementing things in your life to start truly living a life you love and be comfortable in your own skin.
HAVE A CAKE SMASH EVERY DECADE OF LIFE – HELLO 30!
Rule #1, everyone must do a cake smash every decade of life! This is a great excuse to celebrate YOU, laugh, be silly, get loose, be adorable and just have fun! I laugh out loud looking at all these photos so I will be sharing many of them with you as I get really… REAL!
Don’t be SO SHY
Just because you are shy when you’re young, don’t mean you’ll be like that forever.
This is a huge one for me! I was EXTREMELY shy and quiet growing up. It’s still something I work on often but I have come a loooong ways since my early twenties. I was so quiet around groups of people. I remember when I first started dating Ron I would hardly talk around his friends! I would never say a word or know what to talk about. I would sweat, get dizzy, and my heart race if I had to talk in front of people. This still happens time to time and that’s okay. Here are so things that have helped me get better.
When I start to feel myself want to shy away I force myself to blurt out something even if it sounds stupid or makes no sense. I ask A LOT of questions. One, because people are genuinely interesting and two this will make the conversation warm. People love to talk about themselves. This allows them to put their guard down and makes for a easy conversation. You’d be surprised how quickly you get to know someone by doing this. It’s an easy way to find fun relatable topics to talk about and make some great friends!
GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
Everything you want is on the other side of fear! This statement is SO TRUE! If you want to grow as a person, you have to get comfortable with putting yourself out there and doing things differently than you are used to. This is a scary one as a young twenty-year-old.
Here are a few things to practice getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. If you’re in a scenario where you have a great idea, would love to share but then start to talk yourself out of it, count down 5, 4 ,3, 2, 1 and just say it! It can be terrifying but after you do it you feel amazing! The “Five Second Rule” by Mel Robbins is an amazing tool and I highly recommend her book!
This method can be used for EVERYTHING! Whenever I feel fear/second guessing myself setting in, I step back, think about why I am feeling this way, what is the worst that could happen, and then just do it anyways because I know I will be happy that I tried even if it’s not exactly what I expected. We have one life to live, why not just go for it!
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Wayne Gretzky
I have used this method for everything in life from speaking in front of people, jumping out of airplanes, going on intense hikes, asking for what I want, swimming with sharks, creating this blog and so much more. Getting uncomfortable has allowed me to become much more confident, honest, and live how I want to live it. This is a daily practice.
DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
These pictures kind of say it all! Sometimes I say awkward things that don’t make any sense. I come off as childish, immature, bubbly and silly. I may be thirty now but I feel it’s important to keep that inner child alive!
BE YOUR UNPOLOGENIC SELF
Just imagine your life if you were your 100% yourself, no opinions, judgements, worries what others thought. What would your life be like?! Now do more of that!
This is a big one! It took many years to get comfortable in my own skin, to be content with who I am, that I am enough and I am doing just fine. You get ONE LIFE…just ONE.. time does not stop for no one, so stop holding back who you are and just be you regardless of other people’s opinions!
I know easier said than done, it took some time but one day I just woke up and truly said to myself… if someone has something negative to say about who I am, what I do or anything else… than that is their problem. It does not affect me. I am the one living my life. I am concentrating on doing things that make me happy and that is what is important. Tell yourself this daily!
I listen to A LOT of self-help books! They have been the cheerleaders behind me, taught me how to be confident, educated me to dig deep, teaching me how to figure out what I want out of life, self-worth and so much more. I will share a list of my favorites down the page!
People will always judge/have an opinion of you no matter what you do. You cannot and will not ever please everyone. Become okay with that.
STOP SAYING SORRY!
If you paid yourself a $1 for every time you said SORRY you’d most likely be RICH! I feel like we use this word WAY TOO MUCH and out of context. It has become a habit that we fill the air with! Pay attention and count how many times you say it in a day and what you’re saying sorry for… most likely it could have easily not been said at all!
I still say it out of habit but have been working on it as well. You should never feel that SORRY all the time! It is not good for your self worth or self-confidence. We apologize because we assume we are the ones wrong, break tension, or fill awkward silences. It makes for sincere apologizes less meaningful as well.
Here is a good article I read to help you stop saying sorry too much.
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious” –Albert Einstein
I love that saying! WHY, questions keep us moving forward to new discoveries. Start asking WHY more often.
TAKE THE FIRST STEP
The hardest part is taking the first step! Once you get momentum it gets easier! We all have had those dreams/goals we thought about, studied, obsessed over but then never do anything about it! I am here to tell you to stop it and just take the first step already! There will ALWAYS be an easy excuse not do something you want to do. Make a plan, promise yourself and stick to it! It will not be easy, there will be many times where you want to give up, or not feel like it, those are the days you have to DECIDE you are going to do it no matter what and just do it! You will thank yourself for being disciplined.
SAVE AND INVEST
It is important to save for your future. I know boring right! It’s most likely not on your radar when you are young, especially when you are making just enough to get by. Every little penny counts. Get into the habit of putting away X amount into an account you will never touch. We all blow money in different ways and that is okay but only to a point.
I set up my checking account to automatically put a certain amount in my savings each month and some in an account for travel. This builds up over time and won’t even notice it happening. Out of site out of mind, right!?
I really love saving and investing! I wish schools would focus more on this because most of us have to figure it out on their own. I never had much money growing up so when I made my own money, I didn’t need much to live so instead of spending it on things, I put it away. Over time this allowed me to invest in Real Estate with Ron and now we have a business with several rentals. It’s a much longer story than that but that’s the gist of it!
TRAVEL THE WORLD
You do not need to go far to experience the world around you, nor does it have to be expensive. Taking a break from your normal routine and getting away helps you stay motivated, inspired and loving life!
Every time we go somewhere I come home a little different and I absolutely love it. This earth is SO beautiful not to explore it!
WRITE OUT GOALS
I am a very goal oriented person. If I do not have a plan, then I am scatter brain. If you are not use to writing down goals, that is okay. Everyone starts somewhere. It is INSANE how many come to life just by doing this. I encourage everyone to write their goals down, have a vision because everyone deserves to live their best life!
Make a 1, 5, 10-year goal list. Make it fun. Write down a very specific clear vision of how you see yourself living your life for each one. Then break down each goal. Make a plan on how you can achieve those goals. Read it every single day. Take one step towards working on your goals each day.
I didn’t have many mentors’ growing up. Not saying I don’t love my family and friends, I just didn’t have many that had the same visions as me or pushed me to do more. I relied on TONS of self help/mindset books and people that inspire me. All this helped me stay on track of my vision, lift me up when I feel BLAH and believe I can achieve anything and everything in life.
A good habit to get into is listen to 10 minutes of a book first thing in the morning. It will set your mindset for the day! If you have a commute to work, listen. If you’re taking a walk, listen. If you’re on a lunch break, listen. Everyone has ten minutes a day. I use Audible, you get your first month + two books FREE!
Here is a list of some of my favorite books ive listend to more than once!
- You Are A Bad Ass by Jen Sincero
- You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
- The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** by Roger Wayne
- Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur by Cara Alwill Leyba
- Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
- Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
- The Virgin Way by Richard Branson
- Like She Owns the Place by Cara Alwill Leyba
- The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss
- The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone
- The Values Factor by Dr. John DeMartini
- A Tribe Called Bliss by Lori Harder
Here are a few of my favorite influencers that inspire me that anything is possible if you put hard work, dedication and passion into what you do
- Katrinaascott from ToneitUP
- The Bucketlist Family
EXERCISE AND EAT HEALTHTY
No one has ever regretted a workout, however getting yourself to show up is the hardest part!
Working out truly makes me feel good. It’s like my cup of coffee, if I don’t workout I am sluggish, tired, achy and just BLAH! Once I get my body moving and heart rate up for even just 15 minutes it changes my entire mood for the day. Make a promise to yourself to workout at least 3-5 days a week non-negotiable, no excuses! Dedication will be hard but then it’ll turn into a habit and then you will just want to even when you really don’t feel like it you will do it anyways because it makes you FEEL GOOD! That is what has worked for me.
There are SO many positives that come with exercise and eating heathier.
HAVE A MORNING ROUTINE
I never thought I was a routine kind of person but these past few years I have a lot and I love it! My mornings consist of making the bed, doing 15-30 minutes of yoga, writing/thinking 3 things I am grateful for, make breakfast, feed Watson, listen to 10 minutes of a book before I start my day.
Here is an article of daily routines from seven famous entrepreneurs that I found interesting.
SAY YES MORE
Get out, LIVE, try new things, get uncomfortable!
If you can dream it you can do it! Can you recall the movie from this? Cough… cough… Blades of Glory. This is my favorite quote because it is SO true!
DO NOT HOLD GRUDGES
This hurts you more than it hurts them. It is not healthy to hold on to hate or negativity in your life. Even if you feel you did nothing wrong or that you dislike someone, forgive them. We only have so much time on this earth, forgive.
TRY NEW THINGS
Step outside of your comfort zone and do something you normally wouldn’t do. Try something on a menu you would never get. Explore a city you’ve never gone. I try to make a habit to do something new each week. NEW is always exciting!
DON’T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE
We all have our own story. You have no idea what that person is going through. Be kind. Words can be very hurtful to others. Even though someone seems to have it all together, they don’t.
I was returning a rain jacket at a store right after our Africa trip because Ron didn’t use his. I did not have the tags or receipt. The woman behind me was getting frustrated because it was taking a while for the cashier to find the receipt on my rewards card. The woman huffed and puffed and said to her son… she probably stole it, rolling her eyes. I said excuse me. I am sorry you have to be patient, way to influence your child the way your acting. She was SO RUDE! I started shaking and wanted to say so much more. I wanted to yell and break down that my mom was in critical care with tubes coming out of her brain sucking out all the blood from a bursted aneurysm that almost took her life and that I was scared and exhausted that I may lose my own mother. That I was only here trying to un pack from a trip that I came home early from not knowing something like this would ever happen to my own flesh and blood. But instead, I kept silent and just went into my car and broke down. From that day forward I vowed to just be more kind to people because you truly have NO IDEA what they are going through… life is not easy, let’s give one another a little more credit!
As for my mother, she did have a ruptured brain aneurysm a few days after we landed home from Africa. Only 50% make it to the hospital. Thankfully, she is TOUGH, I spoke to her on the phone for an hour before it happened. She had strength hit redial to me. We thought it was a heart attack. She made it to the hospital quickly. They told us she had a of blood on the brain and had to shave her head and drill a hole to relive pressure. We had no idea. After six long weeks in ICU, three weeks in a nuro, two weeks at my home and lots of therapy she is doing great! In fact, on the 24thit’ll be one year! Let’s take a trip mom to celebrate!
I’ve haven’t shared that story before but I just want to make aware, we all have things going on in our lives, just be KIND!
PAY IT FORWARD
If everyone did one act of kindness each day and passed it on, the world would be a much happier place. Smile more, give a complement, pay for the person’s food behind you in a drive through, carry someone’s groceries for them, do anything that spreads more happiness in this world! It does not have to be big.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
You should use them to lift you up and work towards your greater goal not feel like you are not enough or wishing you had another life.
You must love yourself first before you can love someone else. I was listening to a TED talk on NPR about this and the science behind it. Think about all the nasty things you say to yourself daily. You look fat, your stupid, you’re not enough, the list goes on … now just imagine someone you love dearly said those things to your face, how hurt would you be?! I would be DEVASTATED! This got me to really start practicing self-love, even though it’s hard sometimes, it’s a daily practice we all should work on more.
SLOW DOWN & LOVE THE LITTLE THINGS
I will be the first one to admit I am not good at slowing down. I am constantly thinking about the next big thing. Once I achieve a goal, I am thinking about the next. If I am on a trip, I am thinking about where were going next. This is one I want to practice more going into my thirties (gosh so weird to say!)
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER
Aging is a privilege denied to many. You will never hear me say I feel old. I am a believer you are what you think. Stop constantly telling yourself you are OLD! I hear it all the time around me from people that are not even THIRTY yet! You are never too old or too young to experience anything in life! Well maybe some things, lol but you get my point! I mean George HW Bush 85thBirthday went skydiving! A 95-year-old woman graduates college! There is SO much to live for start living!
LESS THINGS & MORE EXPERIENCES
Tons of research has shown that experiences bring more happiness than do possessions. Just think about it, those memories you made on the last vacation you took, you think about it often, don’t you? You can talk about it for a lifetime. As for buying the new latest and greatest iPhone…. not so much… get out and experience more! It doesn’t have to be expensive. Here is an interesting article from The Atlantic about buying experiences not things.
Okay, so I went over 20 things, ya got me! These things are a daily practice that will get better with time. I hope you will put some serious thought and effort into working on these so you can start living your best life!
I cannot wait to see what my THIRTIES have in store for me!
What parts are you excited to work on? Comment below, Pin, share and subscribe to stay up to date on my latest adventures and inspiration!
20 things I would tell my 20- year-old self
- HAVE A CAKE SMASH EVERY DECADE OF LIFE
- DON’T BE SO SHY
- GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
- DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
- BE YOUR UNPOLOGENIC SELF
- STOP SAYING SORRY!
- STAY CURIOUS
- TAKE THE FIRST STEP
- SAVE AND INVEST
- TRAVEL THE WORLD
- WRITE OUT GOALS
- HAVE MENTORS
- EXERCISE AND EAT HEALTHTY
- SAY YES MORE
- DREAM BIG
- DO NOT HOLD GRUDGES
- TRY NEW THINGS
- DON’T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE
- PAY IT FORWARD
- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
- SELF LOVE
- SLOW DOWN LOVE THE LITTLE THINGS
- AGE IS JUST A NUMBER
- LESS THINGS & MORE EXPERIENCES
Yes, there is more than 20, ya got me :P! Now get out there and start embracing life, become more confident, self-loving and unapologetic!